Ideas

Excuses and Assumptions

I did mention once in this journal about a guy who has oftentimes waited for me after class to wait by the stop where I catch a ride home.

Well, I hated assuming.

I hated having this feeling that he might actually like me back because he’s doing something for me that I don’t think he would ever do for other girls constantly, especially since he’s one of the weirdest guys you would ever encounter in UP (perverted, unpredictable, evasive, moody, restless, impulsive). He might just be messing with me because I’m this pitiful, lonely girl who apparently has the same fetishes as he (let’s not discuss that). So, after class today, I tried to avoid walking with him. My first excuse was, “Guys, go on ahead. I need to go to the restroom.” I quickly ran from them and spent several minutes in there until I thought it was safe and clear to come out so I can go home in peace. But damn, they waited for me, including “him”. Once we were out of the building, and everybody was going off their separate ways, the guy suddenly disappeared (he usually does this disappearance act). One of the girls with me was surprised but I was like, “Thank God, now I wouldn’t have to worry catching a ride home while having him around.” But damn, again, when I was on my way to the stop, he unexpectedly appeared out of nowhere and was now heading to where I was going. It was like he EXPECTED this to happen. That this route where I usually pass through would undoubtedly lead the two of us walking together again and waiting by the stop. So there he was, walking in front of me and I said, “Oh crap, I really want to avoid him.”

You see, I hate getting confused over my feelings, especially towards a guy, so my way of handling the situation was to avoid the guy.  So when I was almost near the stop, lo and behold, oh yeah, he just stood there, WAITING! Who  else? Waiting for me, no doubt, because when he met my eyes, it was like he was asking for me to come to him so that we could wait together by the waiting shed. I repeat, I don’t want to assume that he’s doing this because he cares for me and likes me back. I don’t want to get disappointed! I shrugged and called on a friend who happened to be walking nearby. I asked her where she was going and I responded with a lie, “Hey, I’m going there too. Can I come with you?” So yes, the ending was I left the guy staring at me, and went on a different route. Well, I DID feel guilty too, since I DO like him regardless of my hatred for assumptions so I simply waved at him before heading off to the other direction. Does this make me an idiot? To be honest, I really like what he’s doing for me but I hated having to think that his actions might mean something more.

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